Take Time to Write A Letter

Two years ago last May, our family celebrated the marriage of our oldest daughter, Sarah, to her fiance, Ryan. The wedding was in Boulder, Colorado, outside Denver, where Sarah and Ryan lived. We met several of their friends that day, including Adam, who introduced them.

I remember as we talked, Adam said, "I really appreciated the letter you wrote me a few years ago thanking me for taking Sarah to the airport. I'd never received a letter!"

Never received a letter! Ever?

Astonished, I asked Adam a few questions, and discovered Adam is from Denver, had always lived in Denver, so there really wasn't a reason for anyone in his family to write him. The only person far enough away to write was a mother in the Midwest, grateful for his kindness toward her daughter, who was living in his hometown hundreds of miles away in Indianapolis.

Following our return from the wedding, Adam's comment stuck with me. I made a trip to Barnes and Noble to get a book for a friend having surgery and found Hannah Brencher's book, If You Find This Letter.

Hannah and Letters

Letters were important to Hannah. She cherished the letters her mother wrote when she was attending college. In fact, when she moved to New York City following graduation for a job, she decorated the walls of her apartment with letters from her mother and friends.

"Even after I packed the letters and took them home," Hannah wrote, "I always wondered what it might be like to give something like that - a bulging package of love letters - to someone I don't even know. To someone who might never get that sort of thing otherwise. Stranger or not we all need the same kind of reminders sometimes. You're worthy. You're golden."

In her search to find meaning, purpose and direction in a large city, she wondered if other people would like to receive a letter as  a way to bring love and affirmation to their lives. Riding the subway gave her ample opportunity to observe the cross-section of people living in New York. She focused on those who looked forlorn and lost, an image of how she felt inside as she adjusted to a new job and acclimated to a new home.

Hannah wrote letters to people she saw, describing her struggles, trying to find her way emotionally, professionally, as she tried to create a sense of place in a large city. She tucked the letter in an envelope and wrote on the outside, "If you find this letter .... then it's for you." She placed the envelopes on subway seats, on bathroom sinks, slipped a few into coat pockets in department stores, in fitting rooms, in the library, all over town.

Over time, the act of writing letters to hundreds of people brought her to a place of peace and purpose and the loneliness that seemed to follow her every step since she arrived disappeared.

My Joy Writing Letters

I enjoy writing letters too. I can often express thoughts in my heart more deeply when I write. Although one daughter moved back to Indianapolis over a year ago, when she lived in Denver, I wrote letters regularly to her and her sister who lives in Oregon. While reading the book, I decided to follow Hannah's example, not only for a writing exercise, but also an activity to expand my heart and deepen compassion toward those strangers I encounter.

Like Hannah, I decided to write a letter, put it in an envelope and drop the envelope wherever I went. Someone will receive my words of love and encouragement.

I wrote ten letters with the message below:

"Dear Friend,
     The cloth heart is a reminder you are loved just the way you are. You are valued and loved for all you do. Your life matters to so many and the love you give sustains and provides comfort.
                                                                           A friend."

I folded the letter and tucked a heart inside I cut from fabric. I often include one of these fabric hearts when I send a letter to family or friends. I also included on a separate piece of paper this sentence of explanation; "A letter of encouragement and love to a stranger - based on Hannah Brencher's book, If You Find This Letter."

Addressing the outside of the envelope according to Hannah's directive - "If you find this letter it is yours." - I set off with my bundle.

I spent almost two weeks delivering the letters, which have found homes in a restaurant, a confessional booth in a large Catholic church, at a local YMCA, a grocery store, on a stack of books at the library, and in a pocket of a jacket at Target.

When I place each letter, I offer a prayer that the person who finds it will be blessed and encouraged.

Interestingly, during this two-week period, I received three letters in the mail; one from a former neighbor, one in the form of a picture from my nine-year-old friend, and a thank you note.

Adam's Letter

My story with Adam's letter has come full circle. Writing a letter of gratitude to him left an imprint on his heart. His comment awakened me to Hannah's book reinforcing the importance of the lost art of letter writing.

Reflection Question

Who among your circle of family, friends and acquaintances would benefit from a handwritten note? Take a moment, put your thoughts on paper, and mail an envelope of compassion and care.

Prayer: God, you give us the example of Paul, who wrote letters to people in the churches he established. He offered encouragement, guidance, wisdom and blessing to each since he was unable to regularly visit. Let us model our ways of expression to others following Paul, so we can have a record of thoughts and feelings toward others they can reference forever. Putting our hearts on paper leaves a cherished legacy to the recipient. Amen.

Reaching Out to Touch Cloth: An Act of Faith Filled with Power

Over twenty years ago, I read through the story of the woman who reached out to touch the hem of Jesus' cloak (Matthew 9:18-22). I identified with her need for healing, her longing, her hope.

She pressed through a crowd with faith if she could reach the hem of Jesus' garment, she could be healed of twelve years of hemorrhaging. She got close, leaned in, and I can almost feel her fingertips against that material - the instant she made contact, the bleeding stopped. She would have realized it immediately.

At her touch, Jesus turned around feeling power leave his body.

I knew that woman's longing. I, too, wanted that power.

In my desire to feel the power of Jesus, I began making a series of small quilts that reflected my bleeding, hopeless soul - it was my way of reaching out with my own fingertips to touch cloth, to feel power, to receive healing. Was it possible? Would I experience Jesus? Or would it just be a series of stitches pulling together a creative venture?

One after another, in the creation and quilting of these projects, moving the needle and joining three layers - fabric, batting and fabric -  I may not have felt Jesus' healing power, but I did feel God's presence.

My fingertips touched the colorful cloth and I thought of the woman touching the cloth of Jesus' cloak. Sensing that thread pulling snug the layers and running my finger along the edge, I felt close to Jesus,  just like the woman.

Fabric in Jesus' Life

Fabric was part of Jesus' life in several key moments.

 --- At Jesus' birth he was wrapped in swaddling cloth. (Luke 2:7)

 --- When Jesus washed the disciple's feet he used a towel. (John 13:1-17)

 --- The cloak Jesus wore was central to the story of the woman with a hemorrhage. (Luke 8:43)

 --- The clothes Jesus wore before being crucified were divided among the soldiers. (Matthew 27:35)

 --- Linens Joseph of Arimathea wrapped around Jesus' broken body remained in the tomb following the resurrection. (John 19:40)

Each of these occasions revealed a word important to those who follow Christ: birth (swaddling cloth); servanthood (towel); healing (cloak); suffering (clothes before crucifixion); resurrection (linen).

Reflection Questions For Each Stage of Jesus' Life

   1. Birth - What new thoughts or ideas are energizing your time with God? God works in and through us to birth a deeper faith and stronger trust.

   2. Servanthood - How are you showing the love of God through helping others?

   3. Healing - What in your life needs to be touched for healing; resentment, envy, grief, physical illness, thoughts, sins?

   4. Suffering - Everyone deals with suffering at some time in life; illness, disappointment, loss, impaired relationships. How can you welcome God's companionship to help you through those times that bring difficult and challenging circumstances?

   5. Resurrection - Celebration or resurrection joy comes every day when we offer thanks for God's goodness. Even when we suffer, we can find small things that give us hope for the day.

Over the years, quilting kept me anchored in God's presence and eventually helped me grow in faith. It tied me to the story of the woman touching Jesus' cloak and her heart encounter with God's son.

I still quilt and remember with gratitude the many ways cloth appeared in Jesus' life offering milestones to guide my path of faith and devotion to God. Those projects I made symbolize for me the intimacy and power that flows from God to an individual.

Prayer: Cloth connects us to people in the Old and New Testaments. Jesus' life was marked by the appearance of cloth at significant moments. Thank you, God, for the mystery of life in you that brings us closer to your son as we touch cloth. Amen.

A Twist to the Test

Walt Bettinger, CEO of Charles Schwab Corporation, shared in a New York Times article (February 7, 2016), about an experience he had in college. He was about to take the final for his business strategy class. Striving to maintain a perfect 4.0, he spent long hours preparing for this last exam, memorizing formulas to do calculations for case studies.

He described what happened:

     "The teacher handed out the final exam, and it was on one piece of paper, which really surprised me because I figured it would be longer than that. Once everyone had their paper, the teacher said, 'Go ahead and turn it over.' Both sides were blank.

     And the professor said, I've taught you everything I can teach you about business in the last ten weeks, but the most important message, the most important question, is this: 'What is the name of the lady who cleans this building.'"

Bettinger continues, "And that had a powerful impact. It was the only test I ever failed, and I got the B I deserved. Her name was Dottie. I'd seen her, but I'd never taken the time to ask her name. I've tried to know every Dottie I've worked with ever since."

I copied this article and sent it to my oldest daughter, Sarah, who at the time was an art teacher in the Denver public schools. She is about to celebrate nineteen years of teaching. I wanted her to read this story because she naturally follows the lessons Walt Bettinger's professor tried to teach his class. Throughout her time teaching, she has befriended every custodian in the schools where she worked. She not only values their contribution of cleaning her room each day and emptying the trash, but she spends time talking to them, asking about their families, honoring them as people.

Sarah often bakes a batch of chocolate chip cookies to take to the custodians when they have gone the extra mile to clean a particularly messy art room or to offer compassion for a personal struggle they are experiencing.

"The custodians are my best friends," I've heard her say a few times, "because they are willing to take time to do tasks that make my job easier."

When I asked what she thought of the article, she replied, "I showed it to the custodian."

What if one day we went to church and when it came time for the sermon, everyone in the congregation received a blank sheet of paper. What if the pastor started the sermon by saying, "You have a blank sheet of paper. Write the name of the custodian at this church, at your workplace or your gym. Or write the name of your mailman or garbage collector or other people who make your day easier, assisting in some way that you take for granted." What if you gave yourself the assignment right now!

If you have no name on the paper, make it your mission this week to introduce yourself to a custodian, mailman, or trash collector and express your gratitude to them for their work.

Prayer: Loving God, you surround us with people who help us each day, but we have no idea about their name or life circumstances. Help us show an interest in them like you continuously do with us, and show us ways to extend love and gratitude. Amen.

The Logistics of Praying for Others

"Will you pray for my mom? She's having surgery next week."
"My sister is having a difficult pregnancy. Can you keep her in prayer?"
"I was just diagnosed with depression. I am really scared. Will you pray for my doctor to find the best course of treatment to help with my mood changes?"

Sunday after church has always been a busy time when people come to me asking for prayer. I scrambled to find a small piece of paper in my purse to record their request or relied on my memory to recall their needs.

However, when I prayed each morning during the week, I often couldn't find my scrap of prayer requests or remember who I had promised to lift up in prayer. I needed to find an organized way to pray for friends as well as my family so I could be faithful to those who trusted me with their joys and concerns.

A Solution

One day, I was walking through the school supplies section of Target. I noticed a stack of unlined index cards and had an idea. I purchased several packages of cards and put together a plan for my prayer life.

On the first card, I wrote names of friends alongside their circumstances. On the reverse side, I wrote names of friends who were pregnant. I started this practice in July, and by December, the card was covered front and back with names, some crossed off as their situation resolved.

I also created a separate card for my husband, our two daughters, their husbands and myself. I put their initials at the top of the card.

Each day, I write the date and my prayer for them. By December, each one has at least five cards covered front and back with my prayers for the year. In early January, each year, I write an individual letter of love and encouragement to my daughters and their husbands. I wrap the letter around their cards so they can see how I prayed for them. The final step is mailing the letters and the cards.

I have found, over the years, that using index cards is an efficient way to organize and record my prayer life.

For Your Reflection

1. What system do you use to pray for other or circumstances in our world?

Prayer: Thank you God for helping us solve problems as simple as creating a meaningful way to pray for those I love. Amen.

Eight Questions for the New Year

Before you put away the ornaments from the Christmas tree, file recipes of food you only prepare for the holidays, and organize your presents, get a sheet of paper and a pen to record a few thoughts.

Reflect on experiences during the month of December and write your thoughts. Consider these questions:

     1. Where did I see God?

     2. How did I experience God?

     3. When did I offer God's love?

Keep a copy of your reflections in a place where you can reference them throughout 2019, perhaps in the spring after Easter, during July, and in October as preparations for next Christmas begin.

The answers that come from the questions can reveal the fullness of God's presence as well as give form to changes you might want to implement during the next holiday.

Additional reflections for the new year are an examination of your life and priorities. Responding to each can offer cleansing and direction in the new year.

     4. For what am I longing?

     5. What themes keep recurring in my life?

     6. Where am I struggling?

     7. What is most life-giving to me?

     8. What is least life-giving?

Jesus spent time going away for prayer. Although we do not know the content of his reflections, he gave us a model of the importance of being still with God.

Prayer: Loving and caring God, at the beginning of a new year, help us collect our experiences with you and others from this Christmas season. Guide us as we use these eight questions to realize your presence with us to offer new energy and focus with and guide us in service to you. Amen.

Basket Name

Sue Monk Kidd is one of my favorite authors. Years ago she began writing for Guideposts and Weavings: A Journal of the Christian Spiritual Life. Her books include When The Heart Waits, The Mermaid Chair, and The Secret Life of Bees which was made into a movie in 2008.

Sue is from the south and her writing reflects the culture and traditions from that part of the country.

Her most recent book, The Invention of Wings, is about a young slave, Hetty, and her mother, Charlotte,  a seamstress who works for a wealthy family in Charleston. At the beginning of the book, Hetty explains that a family who owns a pregnant slave names the baby. However, when the mother looks at her child resting in a basket where slaves babies rest while their mothers work, a name might come to her based on what the baby looked like, on what was happening in the world, or a personality trait the mother noted.

Hetty was given the name "Handful" by her mother. As the story evolves, Handful is shown to be a strong-willed, determined little girl who grew into her mother's perceptions of her character. Hetty is referred to as Handful throughout the book.

Most infants today don't rest in baskets, but in cribs or little seats that rock electronically. Perhaps mothers and fathers today who watch their infants sleep or play get an idea of his or her personality and find a nick-name to call the baby, reflecting what they see in the child. Sometimes nicknames stick and the child is called by this name rather than the given name.

When Jesus was born, we are told Mary laid him to rest in a manger, a container of straw for animals - not the most sanitary place for an infant. When the angel Gabriel came to tell Mary of her pregnancy, Gabriel also revealed the baby's God-given name.

I wonder if Jesus also had a "basket name" or "manger name," given by Mary and Joseph as they watched him during those first days and weeks of life?

Jesus came to be known by many names as his ministry evolved. Just like "Handful" described the personality of  one of the main characters in Sue Monk Kidd's book, the names given Jesus by those who wrote the Bible identify his character: "Prince of Peace," "Good Shepherd," "Bread of Life." These names go deeply into Jesus' core and give us metaphorical ways to relate to God's son.

There are over two hundred names for Jesus listed in a recent Google search including the following:

     - Lamb of God
     - Holy Child
     - Alpha and Omega
     - Blessed of God
     - Bright and Morning Star

"Bread of Life" is my "basket" or "manger" name for Jesus.

For decades, baking biscuits has been one of my favorite activities. When our kitchen table was full with two little girls, I made a batch of biscuits twice a week to accommodate the appetites of our family. Bringing biscuits to others, something I like to do, conveys the love of Jesus and represents the name of Jesus to which I connect.

Sometimes during this holiday seas, you will see a Nativity set in someone's front yard, at church, in a store or in your home. Pause for a moment, and if you can find a small set, hold in your hand the figure of Jesus resting in a manger.

     What name of Jesus from the list above do you connect with most?

     Why does that name have meaning for you?

     How can spending time reflecting on this name deepen your experience of Christmas?

For Your Reflection

     - Write your "manger name" for Jesus on a piece of paper. Place the paper in your Bible, on your desk or in a place where you can refer to it during the early  months of the new year. What additional thoughts come as you linger with Jesus' "manger name"?

Prayer - Jesus, you came to the world and were placed in a manger. The "Bread of Life" resting in a food bed for animals. However, you come to us in the name we call you, we hold you dear as you hold us close always from our "basket days," to our ending. Amen.

Sending My Heart in A Box

My heart goes in one of those postal service priority mail boxes a few times a year, when I send Sarah and Anna their birthday presents or other surprises.

Recently, my heart entered a box once again. In July, 1978, when I was eight months pregnant with Sarah, Mike  was serving the First United Methodist Church in New Castle, Indiana. One day, we drove to Nappanee, a city in the northern part of the state, to deposit several boxes of clothing donated to an agency, Church World Service.

After we delivered the boxes, we visited the agency gift shop that sold items from third world countries. We decided to purchase our baby's first gift that day, a wooden nativity set made in the Holy Land. Not knowing our baby's gender didn't matter as we prayed that the representation of Jesus' birth would become a treasured part of our child's holiday season.

Through the decades, the small nativity was displayed on the kitchen table next to the Advent wreath. Sarah learned the story of our travel that day, as I told her each year when we put out the decorations.

Now that Sarah is married and has her own home, it's time for the nativity, purchased with great love 40 years ago, to begin a new life with Sarah and her husband, Ryan.

Holding the nativity one more time, looking at the wooden animals, Mary, Joseph, and Jesus, I remembered our experience that July day, looking through the store trying to find "the perfect gift' for our child. I thought about all of the parsonages where the manger was displayed. Then, I carefully wrapped it in white tissue paper, and placed it in the postal service box, ready to mail.

For Your Reflection:

1. Are there objects or momentos of Christmas that hold special meaning to you?

2. What is the history of the object?

Prayer: God, thank you for a symbol that represents the joy I felt carrying Sarah as well as Mary's joy giving birth to your son. Bless this nativity as it moves to a new home, carrying my love and blessing for a Merry Christmas to Sarah and Ryan. Amen.