Lament for a Fallen Bird

I peeked into the red-berry-laden bush outside Target recently and was startled to see a bird sitting on a nest.

Back in June, a white egg on the sidewalk in front of the bush clued me that a bird might be close by. (Read August 7, 2017, "Gather the Pieces," The White Egg on the Sidewalk.) I poked my head into the bush and saw a bird on a nest settled in the Y-form of a few branches. I did not see babies even though I checked every time I walked by. One day, I noted that the bird was gone. I assumed she left for home.

Now, three months later, I was astonished to find the bird again, sitting on a loosely constructed nest, her belly getting fuller with each visit I made.

I stopped and talked to her one day, asking if she was pregnant, but she just looked at me with large, black eyes outlined by aqua feathers. My visits to Target now included a stop by the bush to check on the bird's progress. I learned she was a mourning dove. One day I noted how the bird's body filled the nest to the edges of the branches.

New Birth

A few days later, I looked in the bush and saw two pairs of bright, black eyes staring at me from their loft above the ground. The two babies looked healthy, with their black and gray feathers fluffed out, making them look almost as big as their mother.

I continued monitoring their progress with each trip to Target. The babies along with their mother were a cozy trio in the Y of the tree.

A Discovery

On my birthday in mid-September, once again I ventured to Target for a few items. Looking forward to seeing the progress of the bird family, I walked by the bush. The nest was empty and one of the babies was on the mulched ground, scooting along dragging its legs behind.

"Oh, my!" I thought. "The mother is gone, and the baby has fallen out of the nest and appears injured."

I started to cry, wondering how a mother could abandon a hurt baby. On my way into the store, I thought of ways I could help the bird - take it to the vet or leave it alone, hoping the mother might return.

My thoughts were on this poor bird as I went from aisle to aisle until I finished and bagged my groceries. Leaving the store, I was still perplexed how to help, but I finally decided the best thing to do was leave it in its habitat and hope the mother would come back.

The next day, I was determined to check on the bird despite a busy day. Getting out of my car I was apprehensive what I might find - Did a racoon eat the bird during the night? Did the bird die overnight from possible internal injuries? Or maybe the bird gained strength and flew away?

I reached the bush and looked all around. The bird was gone. I saw no feathers or other signs of struggle. I looked up to the nest and it was still empty. My best hunch was that someone came along and took the bird home or to a vet.

My Reflection

Most shoppers were probably too busy to notice a bird family They likely focused on what they needed at Target, then continued with their errands and agenda for the day.

I remembered the first time I saw the mother bird on the nest in June, how I was filled with God's presence. I carried that image for many days as a reminder that God was with me and that God was in that mother bird as much as God was in me.

We know God created all things, animals, trees, flowers, and humans. I regarded that first encounter with the bird as communion with another part of God's creation. The subsequent story of the abandoned bird touched my heart in such a way that I wrote a lament (a piece of writing that expresses sorrow) to capture my feelings from the bird's perspective.

                                      A Lament for A Fallen Bird

          I fell to the ground
          From a nest high in a red-berry-laden bush.
          My sibling and I were chubby and strong
          Filling the nest along with our mother
          To overflowing.

          When our mobility increased
          We wiggled and squirmed
          Vying for the limited amount of room
          In the Y of the tree branches.

          Over I went one day,
          Landing on a bed of mulch and dried leaves
          Surrounding the bush.
          My legs broke and dragged behind me
          When I tried to scoot along using my belly and wings.

          My heart broke in the fall, for I knew no one
          Would look down, see my dilemma and offer help.

          The nature of my species is to abandon those not
          Perfect.
          So here I rest, unable to fly
          I look up at the abandoned nest
          Realizing I am abandoned too,
          To live with broken legs and a strong body,
          Scooting along, hoping to make a life
          For myself with limited mobility. 

          The family takes off without me
          And I am left behind
          With God near.

For Your Reflection

1. Have you experienced nature in a way that has touched your soul and led to a new insight or perspective about life?

Prayer: God, thank you for the encounter with this bird family that in some ways reminds me of the story of my own family of origin. We can see parallels of our lives with what happens in nature. For God's presence in the bird and in me that brought about oneness for a moment in time, I am grateful. Amen.
     

                                           

Guideposts Blessings - God Cares for Every Little Hair

Skimming through an outdated copy of Guideposts magazine (April, 2009), several phrases from the articles caused me to pause. I grabbed a sheet of paper and a pen and wrote down the words that caught my heart.


                                  Give me strength.
                                      Thou art with me.
                                  Lord, thank you.
                                      Make good come.
                                  Bless my work.
                                        Open my heart.
                                  I need you.
                                        Help me to be kind.

In Search of Blessings

These phrases were exactly what my soul needed. I marveled how God seemed to magnify each one as I read paragraph after paragraph.

Realizing that I don't need to comprehend the main idea of a sentence or paragraph or even a complete article to gain benefit, I continued to read, gaining encouragement along the way. How many more nuggets can impact me? How many more blessings can I find?

A few months later, I picked up a stack of Guideposts at the YMCA offered for free in their lending library. The next set of words I received from reading the articles are listed below.

         I get quiet and listen for God's presence.
                 You know what I need.
         You never know what's going to happen, but you have to trust.
                 God will provide.
         Your sins are forgiven.w
                 I am called to be God's hands and feet wherever God sends me.
         I offered a prayer and sighed in relief.
                 I trust that God will make a way to find good in the most difficult circumstances.

Sometimes God reveals how personally we are known by leading our hearts along unlikely paths when we do simple tasks, like reading a few inspirational articles.

God Knows The Hairs of Your Head

Luke 12:6-7 says, "Aren't five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one sparrow is forgotten by God. Even the hairs of your head have all been counted. So do not be afraid; you are worth much more than many sparrows!" (Good News)

How can God know how many hairs are on the heads of all the people in the universe? Yet an omniscient, all-loving God has indeed counted them all. Surely that reveals how deeply and intimately God cares for each of us.  All of us are noticed. All of us are known. All of us are remembered.

How I Know I'm Known

When I've been directed to certain phrases in a magazine that are exactly what I need, I realize God knows and remembers me. Throughout my days and over the course of my life, so many moments could only be orchestrated by God - revealing how personally God knows and cares for me.

Reading magazines like Guideposts and seeing these phrases that stand out helps me realize others find God in everyday life, just as I do and their words, in turn, help me find God throughout my day.

Watch for God.  Perhaps, you, like me, will see God in symbols or shapes or interactions or in phrases that stand out as you read the Bible or a Christian publication. Pay attention to these details and I hope you'll sense God's intimate attention and care for you.

Questions for Reflection

1. What indications have you noted that revealed the deep, personal knowledge God has of you and your needs?

2. As you read the Bible or other spiritual publications, have you ever listed sentences, phrases or even a word that stands out? Try it!

Prayer: The expanse of people you have created is immense, God, and it's unfathomable for us as humans to imagine knowing each and every one. Yet, we are given the promise that You do indeed know each one of us. Thank you for being a personal God as well as one who is omnipresent and omnipotent. Amen.

What Makes A Church A Holy Place

"St. Sava is the place that keeps our Serbian culture alive in New York (City). Without it, I'm lost," said one church member after a  fire destroyed the Serbian Orthodox Cathedral of St. Sava on May 6, 2016.

"The grand, gothic arches have welcomed me every Sunday since 1973, framing baptisms, weddings and funerals, " she continued..

As an act of solidarity, Calvary Episcopal Church, a few blocks away, offered to house the services for St. Sava in their sanctuary until the cathedral is reconstructed.

A group of parishioners looked at the beautiful stained-glass windows inside the Calvary sanctuary. "The sanctuary is unfamiliar," they said, "but God and the prayers are the same. It's not our church, but it's a holy place. Wherever we go God will be with us!"

Differences in Church Buildings

Church buildings are all different. Some resemble auditoriums, while others are more traditional with wooden pews and a center aisle. Some feature altars and crosses, while others cover the wall with art and provide no chairs and instead have their worshipers stand.

Despite these differences, they do have a common feature - they are places where just being inside can draw people to God.

Church Buildings as a Conversation

An article by church architects, David Woodhouse and Andy Tinucci, ("Building Faith" in the February, 2017, issue of "Guideposts") explained how these two men feel about designing a church.

     "We think of our designs as one side of a conversation. The building says something to the worshiper and the worshiper completes the conversation by responding with his or her faith. That's why we try not to put too many pictures or words into our designs. We keep things abstract. We try to give worshipers room to have their own experience of God using their own imaginations."

In their design philosophy, light, building materials, size, sound, wood, stone or carpeted floors all contribute to a person's experience of God when entering - and their conversation with God in worship.

Churches I Have Known

This article caused me to pause and recall the design of the churches Mike pastored through the years. When he was in seminary at Duke Divinity School, he served three, small country churches painted white with tall steeples. There were no frills or decorations, the altar and the pulpit were the main focus. Two of the churches had cemeteries next to them, as was common long ago.

The remaining churches, all in Indiana, had unique features. Two had balconies (First United Methodist Church in New Caste, and First United Methodist Church in Vincennes). Two, Faith and Zoar United Methodist in Mt. Vernon, had a belfry where children took turns each week pulling the thick, frayed twine cord to move the bell, signaling the beginning of worship.

Another church, (Center United Methodist in Indianapolis) had a long, center aisle with fifty pews on either side. Eight stained-glass windows, installed during Mike's tenure, offered an impressive side focus to the sanctuary.

Mike's last church, Fishers United Methodist, had four aisles, with brides having the choice to enter from any one of them. A descending dove depicted in layered brick on a wall behind the altar was a reminder of the Holy Spirit.

Until I read the article in "Guideposts," I never thought about how construction of a church could influence the worship experience or draw people together, giving them space for their own private time with God. The two architects believe that churches "need to be free of the distractions of modern life."

My Church

Because I attend a large church and sit toward the middle of the sanctuary, I have trouble seeing the altar, especially when people stand. The large fount used for baptism is in my direct view, but what sets me in alignment with God is when I seen the five-tiered row of votive candles on a front table. Watching people light a candle, and pause, forms a beautiful picture of coming to God in prayer. Mike and I always light a candle at the end of each service.

The congregation of St. Sava will surely miss worship each week in their holy place. However, the generosity of Calvary Episcopal Church clearly demonstrates the love of Jesus. I pray, in time, the Serbians will find new markers in the sanctuary that will help them sense God's presence in a new setting. After they rebuild their own space after the fire, perhaps more conversation with God than ever before will happen.

Questions for Reflection

1. What makes you experience God's presence in your church or in churches you've visited?

2. Do you find the sanctuary where you worship a distraction-free zone? If not, how does that affect your worship?

3.Where do your eyes focus when you enter the sanctuary? On the lights, organ pipes, woodwork, carpet, flowers, altar cloths, candles, stained glass windows, pictures, the choir, pastor, organ? Do you find these invite you to conversation with God?

Prayer: The generosity, God, of your people in times of adversity demonstrates the way we are always in mission to others. Bless those who are displaced and help them find their familiarity in you despite adverse circumstances. And may we all find a rich, deep, intimate conversation with you in all the places where we gather to worship. Amen.

Surrounding Our Home With Love

My friend, Joyce, and I arrived early to an evening meeting at church. While we waited for others to come, she told me people ask her if she's still living in "that big house."

"I say, 'Yes I am,' wondering why so many friends think I need to move to a smaller place since John's in a memory care unit of a nursing home. It may be a bit big for one person, but I don't want to leave."

Words Embedded in the Home

I listened as Joyce described "that big house" where she wants to stay.

"We built the house seventeen years ago, when John retired from ministry. We'd lived in many parsonages during his career. Finally, we had an opportunity to build a home of our own. We could design each room with features we'd long desired.

"However, our home was extra special because of what was nailed on the studs between the insulation and the dry wall. A few months before construction of our house began, we sent letters containing index cards to our family and friends. We asked them to write a favorite scripture or blessing on the card.

Every day the mailman brought cards with scripture and words lovingly penned on each one. Finally, the day arrived when we gave 177 cards to the contractor and asked him to nail them on the boards forming the frame. We chose to put the cards in specific rooms. For example, the cards we received from children were put in rooms where our grandchildren would play and sleep.

"Whenever anyone suggests that I move to a smaller home or an apartment I can't even begin to imagine leaving a place where I feel surrounded by blessings and love from so many who celebrated with us when we built our first home."

"Oh, my, Joyce," I admired her creativity as she followed the prompting from God. "I don't think I've ever heard of people writing scripture or loving thoughts to include building a home. I can appreciate why you want to stay in the house for as long as you can!"

Joyce smiled, "I am thankful someone understands."

(Writing continues below picture of index cards on the frame of a room.)

The Builder of All Things Is God

Driving home from church that night, I thought about Joyce and the inner walls of her home. I've participated in many house blessings, but this house was graced from the inside out.

Having lived in many parsonages, I can identify with the excitement John and Joyce felt building their own home. Even seventeen years later, Joyce still feels surrounded by God's love and the love of family and friends when she goes through each room.

Joyce and John's home reflects the words found in Hebrews 3:4 - "For every house is build by someone, but the builder of all things is God."

The Letter

Joyce sent me a copy of a letter she and her husband wrote to each contributor. May it bless you as it must have blessed everyone who received it years ago:

      Precious Lord, we give you praise and thanks for each individual who has provided a label to surround our home with their love and friendship. May your mercy, grace and peace surround each of them as well. It is also our prayer, Heavenly Father, that the cards may be a blessing and witness to all who read them - especially the workers and the neighbors who check the progress. If just one person, after reading what you share, would have a new relationship with You, we would rejoice even more. Bless the reader as well as the sender. Thank you, Jesus. Amen.

Questions for Reflection:

1. What scripture verses would you write if someone sent you this letter?
2.What scripture would you want included in your home?
3. Could you add a verse to your home or apartment, even though it's already built, as a way to retroactively pray for your home to be blessed by God?

Prayer: Thank you, God, for the ways others rejoice in tangible ways with celebrations in our lives. Joyce and John's home was blessed structurally and spiritually with love from many friends and family who wanted them to feel your presence always. Thank you for their generosity of thought and prayer that continues to nurture Joyce each day. Amen.

"Call The Midwife"

"Nonnatus House, midwife speaking" is the friendly greeting people hear when they call the convent where nuns and midwives live in London's East End.

"Call the Midwife," the popular PBS series set in the fifties, chronicles the adventures of nuns and nurses who visit expectant mothers, providing London's poorest pregnant women with the best possible care.

I enjoy watching this show that is based on the memoir of Jennifer Worth, one of the midwives at Nonnatus House. Each episode weaves back and forth between the drama of helping women give birth in their homes to watching the nuns chant in the chapel or pray in their rooms. Taking the love of God into dirty, one-room flats to help those in poverty is the mission of patient and caring midwives, some of whom are nuns.

The Rhythm of Liturgy

When I watch this show, I am reminded of those days in my early twenties when I thought God was calling me to be a nun. Growing up in the Episcopal Church, I learned early in my life the sustaining presence of liturgy. Each Sunday the same words in prayers, responsive readings, and psalms, greeted me as I sat on a hard wooden pew for a service called "Morning Prayer." "Holy Communion" celebrated the first Sunday of the month, contained different liturgy from "Morning Prayer," but was equally nurturing.

The repetitive nature of the liturgy during my formative years, offered comfort and grounding as I came each week from a home that was chaotic and unpredictable.  My attachment to God grew with each service and  I came to depend on God being present for me when people were not.

Craving a Convent

As I was finishing undergraduate school, my heart often yearned to live in a house surrounded by prayer and people who were loving and kind - my perception of what a convent was like.

I learned that the Episcopal Church did indeed have monks and nuns, so the path seemed clear - for awhile anyway. When I completed graduate school, my search for a job began along with a pull toward service in God's name. However, I wanted to be a wife and mother, too. All of these conflicting thoughts churned my soul, leaving me confused and undecided for the future.

A Household of Peace

God intervened when I met a young man who eventually became my husband. This man wanted to be a pastor! Life in God's kingdom took an unexpected turn. Marrying Mike opened a new dimension of love, service and eventually, two sweet girls.

Mike and I created a house filled with prayer, love and kindness. However, my soul still sought weekly, familiar liturgy in worship. God's presence through liturgy carved deep paths that were sustaining and grounding when I was growing up and continued to be important now.

Occasionally, Mike and I attend an Episcopal Church, usually on Ash Wednesday or during a midday service on Wednesday. When I read the words in the Book of Worship for "Morning Prayer" and "Holy Communion," my soul is stirred to those days long ago sitting on a hard, wooden pew.

Liturgy for My Days

For my birthday last year, I asked for the book, A Liturgy for Ordinary Radicals. Each day I find a set of readings and prayers for reflection that wrap my soul in God. Some of the readings and prayers remind me of those when I was young listening to words that deepened my faith. I slip these on like a person dons a favorite sweater or comfortable pair of shoes. They offer assurance, even a sensation, that I am home - home in liturgy that brought comfort and peace early in life and continues today.

Watching "Call the Midwife" for the six-week-long season connects me to those days when thinking about entering a convent seemed the direction my life would follow. Even though I did not become a nun, Mike and I created a home filled with prayer, love and a focus on service to others - non unlike the daily practice of nuns who also pray, love and serve others.

The nuns in the series, along with my liturgy book, allow me to stay attentive to God, to practice my faith every day, and to spread God's love wherever I go - especially to the poor or those on the fringe.

Questions for Reflection

1. What moments, prayers, rituals or liturgy do you recall from your early memories of church?
2. Were they meaningful and formative to your faith?
3. How are they present in your faith practice today?

Prayer: God, You come to us in many ways. Sitting in church Sunday morning is a wonderful opportunity to hear Your Word proclaimed in sermon, prayers, readings and music.Even when we are young, Your presence can open our souls to life with You. Guide us in our faith to move closer to You, as we say the Lord's Prayer, participate in responsive readings, and proclaim our faith in creeds. All of these bring our hearts to You. Amen.

Bracelets, Cards - Signs of Love in Times of Loss and Illness

Choking back tears with a solid lump in my throat, I walked into the busy mall on Sunday afternoon. My mission was not pleasant and I wished I could be anywhere, but shopping at a mall.

My friend, Ann, and I have known each other since June of 1989, when Mike was assigned to pastor the church in Vincennes where Ann and her husband, Chuck, attended with their three children.

Shortly after we moved, Ann and I drove a group of children to church camp. We brought our own youngest children - my four-year-old daughter, Anna, and her three-year-old, Margaret - along for the ride.Soon these two were playing with their dolls in the back seat of Ann's van, beginning a friendship that would last the seven years of Mike's appointment.

Ann and I had a lot in common - faith and family were our priorities. Eventually, my oldest daughter, Sarah, became one of Ann's children's favorite babysitters. Our families were connected in many ways, sharing experiences in church and often during the week.

Bracelets, Cards, and Tears

Ann was the only person who came to say good-bye to us the day we moved in June of 1996. That was a sad day, one we both were dreading. However, we continued our friendship through exchanged letters, birthday and Christmas cards, and an occasional visit.

When Ann's beloved father died, I sent her a bracelet along with a note of condolence. When her dear mother died, I sent another bracelet and note. When my parents died, she sent three bracelets that are pictured above.

Now I was looking for a bracelet to honor her husband, who died six weeks after being diagnosed with cancer.

I cried so hard at home when I heard the news of Chuck's passing. He was a respected doctor in the community as well as being a devoted husband, father, and grandfather. I wondered how I could get through the jewelry counter of a store fielding inquiries from helpful sales clerks.

Perusing the jewelry counter in three stores, I finally found a bracelet - one with two silver strands clasped together - a perfect visual for the devotion and love Ann and Chuck shared.

At home, I wrapped a note of love and prayer around the box containing the bracelet, drove to the post office and sent the package to my dear friend.

More Cards, More Tears

My trip to choose a bracelet wasn't the first time this summer I found myself in tears at a store. In late May, a friend of my youngest daughter was diagnosed with cancer and given two to four years to live. At age 33, this diagnosis was devastating. Off I went to the Hallmark store to purchase a card for him and for his mother.

Standing in front of rows of cards, "for serious illness" I started to cry.

"How am I ever going to make it to the check-out counter and pay for my choices with tears coming down my cheeks?" I wondered.

After looking at many cards, considering their words over and over, I finally made two choices. Sniffling, dabbing my eyes with a tissue, clearing my throat, I managed to pay for my selections and make it out the door.

Compassion, Comfort, Companionship

Life brings these moments that touch us to our core. Sudden illness of seemingly healthy people awakens our compassion and channels our desire to help in any way possible to bring comfort and offer companionship along a road that has more questions than answers - a path that brings deep loss, sadness, disbelief, despair and grief.

How do we manage through these days that are tough to navigate? Psalm 46:1 offers immediate direction - "God is our shelter and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble."

On July 30, I wrote how how God gave me four ways to stay solidly connected to God during an extended time when several people about whom I cared deeply were experiencing significant illness or challenges in relationships. I refer you to that link (see below) as those directives continue to lead me through each day, providing me with strength to face whatever comes my way - grief or joy, happiness or despair, longing or hope.

Prayer: God, these days keep us seeking You with every breath we take. Inhaling Your presence does help by offering strength and the ability to persevere when times are tough. We can weep and lament in Your presence for we know You receive all of our needs and thoughts with love. Wrap us now in Your arms, hold us close, remind us we are loved by You, for in You we can stand firm in faith and be sustained all of our days. Amen.

For further reading:

http://jacquiereed.blogspot.com/2017/07/when-life-is-overwhelming-here-is-how.html

Vacation Day

I am taking tomorrow off.

 Next Monday, I will share a story about "Bracelets, Cards - Signs of Love in Times of Loss and Illness."

Thank you for being a faithful reader.