Sunday, February 1, 2015

Words of the Week - "Get Over" and "Integrate"

Get Over - to do something as soon as possible so you don't have to worry about it anymore

Integrate - unite, bring together into a whole

Recently I was describing to a friend an experience that left me reeling.

"I just want to get over this and move on," I said exasperated and desperate..

She suggested I approach the experience by integrating what happened into the mix of events already part of my life.

Reflecting on her words, I realized integrating unpleasant experiences can offer much more positive energy and results than staying in a potentially "rut developing" stance of saying repeatedly, "I just can't get over this."

Getting over implies doing something else as soon as possible to distract and avoid reasons to worry. My experience trying to "get over" what happened has involved seeking distractions that momentarily interrupt my thoughts. Before long, I return to what occurred, which requires me to distract myself and begin the cycle again. At this rate, I am stuck, not "getting over" anything. Instead, I am likely to return in thought and behavior to the same struggles and frustrations.

Integrating, however, helps me explore different parameters of what happened. Integrating can lead me to discover the root of what affected me and better understand why. Identifying the root -----

a. Invites me to learn more about myself.
b. Gives me an opportunity for growth.
c. Helps apply lessons learned to future experiences.
d. Encourages me to walk a path of forgiveness leading to freedom and openness to absorb more of life.
e. Develops patience and perseverance as I plough through anger, resentment and betrayal that come from being wounded.

Getting over an event without integration can be a dead-end road. Although integration can be a difficult process, it offers greater learning and permanent self-discovery.

Prayer: God, when life is hard we want to toss our experiences to the wind and avoid the deep work of becoming more whole and complete in self and you. Give us strength and courage to do work that can drain our energy, but lead to new-life. Amen.

1 comment:

  1. I'm so sorry for the event or events leading up to this post, but I do appreciate hearing you think it through, because I agree with you--there is a difference between getting over something and integrating a good or bad event into my life. Your list of benefits makes me stop and think, "It's so, so hard, but maybe it really is worth it."