"The people are holding us up!"

Spending time with children brings me joy. My three young friends, Alex, Jake, and I'll call the third, Jane, all of whom are eight years old,  fill my home with laughter and fun.

They spend time in the backyard playing kickball or making a little town in the woods from sticks, rocks and dried leaves. They create artwork using chalk on the concrete garage floor or the sidewalk. Their favorite activity occurs in my kitchen when we bake. Baking is the center of our time together; the other activities evolve around this tasty task.

Sometimes Jane comes by herself, as she likes to sew and the boys prefer to be more active. When all three come at the same time, we often pack a picnic and walk to the small park in our housing addition.

Recently, I took Jane to the Indianapolis Museum of Art for her first visit. She enjoys art and had a picture she painted in the school district art show last spring. Touring the museum and seeing art from an eight-year-old perspective brought new vision to a place I've frequented for almost thirty years.

One exhibit, "Floor," by the Korean artist, Do-Ho-Suh, captivated Jane. "Floor" is made of several sections of thick glass plates. Sandwiched between the plates and the hardwood floor of the museum are hundreds of multi-colored, miniature figures. The palms of their hands touch the glass, "supporting" the weight of visitors who step on the display.

Jane ran all over the expansive glass, fascinated by the hundreds of tiny, plastic people. "The people are holding us up," she exclaimed.

"They sure are Jane," I replied.

Community Within A Church

Reflecting on our experience at the museum later in the day I realized "Floor" was an apt metaphor illustrating community - especially church community.

Acts chapter 2, verses 43-47,describes the nature of living in the Christian community:

         "Many miracles and wonders were being done through the apostles and everyone was filled with awe. All the believers continued together in close fellowship and shared their belongings with one another. They would sell their property and possessions and distribute the money among all, according to what each one needed. Day after day they met as a group in the Temple, and they had their meals together in their homes, eating with glad and humble hearts, praising God and enjoying the good will of all the people. And every day the Lord added to their group those who were being saved."

Although life among the believers today may not look exactly like the description in the book of Acts, there are similarities. Fundraisers are often held for those who are sick or to raise support for projects within the church. Groups meet in churches each Sunday to study God's Word. Small groups gather in homes for prayer and often choose a book to read and discuss. Caring for each other is also a focus of the small group.

When our daughters, Sarah and Anna, were born, the churches Mike was pastoring at the time were generous with their love and support. Each gave us a shower, filling our baby's room with clothes and equipment. We had two weeks of meals prepared each time. The church people "held us up" as we welcomed a new member to our family. Their support made our adjustment easier during those early days of new and expanded parenthood.

The church community does "hold us up" during times of celebration and through moments of need. Our family has been so blessed through the years with people in our churches who have "held us up" during moments of challenge and joy.

One day at the last church Mike served, he received a phone call from a seminary colleague pastoring a church in Raleigh, North Carolina. He told Mike about a young couple who lost twins at 23 weeks. He did the memorial service, but the family was moving to Fishers, and needed a church and pastor for the burial. Mike got the family's address as well as the day and time they planned to arrive at their new home.

In Mike's mid-week message to those in the church, he mentioned this family, overcome with grief, and relocating to a town where they knew no one. By the end of the day, people responded, offering meals, childcare for their toddler son, and other kindnesses. The grieving family was "held up" by the church community for many weeks after their arrival.

How can we "hold people up"?

How can we "hold each other up" during moments of celebration as well as during times of need? Here are a few suggestions.

1. Pray for each other - a simple prayer, "God I bring you _____," is appropriate for any circumstance.
2. Send a card or write a note - Cards can be read over and over propped on a desk or counter as a frequent reminder of another's care and thoughts.
3. Bake cookies, muffins or make a meal. These expressions of love from the kitchen are always helpful.
4. Some churches offer prayer shawls that are given to celebrate the birth of a baby or to offer comfort to those dealing with illness or other trying times. Another church gives "Pocket Prayer Quilts," to those who are sick. The tag that comes with this tiny quilt square says, "This Pocket Prayer Quilt was made especially for you to slip in a pocket or purse. Whenever your fingers touch the cross tucked inside, be mindful of God's love and grace for you. Keep it as a tangible symbol of God's peace. James 5:16 - "Pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed."

The Return Home

Jane and I concluded our day at the museum looking at the famous Robert Indiana LOVE sculpture located on the grounds where I took her picture. What a fitting way to end the day in front of a visual that corresponded so closely with Jane's comment about "Floor" - "The people are holding us up."

Prayer: Loving God, thank you for Jane's insight that fit so appropriately the nature of community that you have described and Jesus modeled. Guide us in ways we can "hold each other up" as we experience events in life that come our way. Amen.

Showing Up

Showing up is a phrase I use every day. Just this morning I was talking to a woman at the YMCA. She mentioned her reluctance to get out of bed on a cloudy, rainy day to exercise.

"At least you showed up," I offered, "even though you didn't feel like coming to spend time on the equipment."

"You're right," she replied with a grin. "I showed up, now I am ready to go to the fitness center, then I can meet a friend for lunch."

"Have fun!" I added, as she walked away carrying a thick book.

Writers are often encouraged to "show up" at their desks or laptops to encourage a daily writing routine even if there aren't any thoughts to record. "Showing up" means you are half-way to beginning another essay, short story, blog entry, poem or other form of written expression. Moving a pencil on paper or fingers over a keyboard begins to generate words that merge into thoughts, ideas and sentences. "Priming the pump," as people used to say long ago, to get started, get moving or continue - these thoughts still work today.

Recently I heard well-known author, Elizabeth Gilbert interviewed by Diane Rehm on National Public Radio. Elizabeth was promoting her new book, Big Magic. When talking about life, she said, "You win already by just showing up."

Showing Up In Other Areas

"Showing up" relates to all parts of life; showing up to work, showing up to a friend in need, showing up for a committee meeting, showing up for a service project - the list is endless. "Showing up" relates to our ways of being present to each other even when circumstances are challenging. My friend, Mary, "shows up" to visit her elderly father in an assisted living facility several times a week despite having a less than stellar childhood. She perseveres in her visits to show love and compassion, energized by God's love.

Kara Tippetts

In November, 2014, I head Kara Tippetts speak at a fund-raising event for the Megan S. Ott Foundation that helps persons diagnosed with breast cancer. Kara's cancer had recently spread to her brain and other vital organs. The foundation brought her to Indianapolis to address family, friends and others who had read her book The Hardest Peace. Unfortunately, Kara died in March, 2015.

While Kara was going through the last weeks of life, she and her friend, Jill Lynn Buteyn wrote a book, Just Show Up - The Dance of Walking Through Suffering Together.  Released in October, 2015, Jill and Kara's book addresses the awkwardness that can come when a friend or family member is dealing with difficult circumstances or is dying. "Showing up" with a meal or with a gift of time sitting in silence or holding his/her hand are meaningful ways to be present during the long days of terminal illness.

Showing Up to Others

I remember when Mike was serving a church in rural North Carolina while he was a student at Duke University Divinity School. One of the oldest members of the congregation died. I was so nervous about what to say to his elderly widow, since being with people in grief was new to me. Mentally, I rehearsed a few sentences to say that I hoped would offer comfort.

When Mike and I arrived at their home, I saw the widow sitting on a couch in the living room. I panicked and couldn't remember my "rehearsed speech." The receiving line of friends moved quickly and when I reached her, I recalled a few of my sentences, talking way too fast to someone who probably didn't retain a word I said. What was important, however, was that I "showed up." I went to her house, spent a few minutes with her and in so doing I held her grief, sharing her loss.

Ways to Show Up

Through the years, I've learned "showing up" for those dealing with difficulty is simple, but hard. Here are a few suggestions.

1. If you feel comfortable, a hug or embrace conveys love, compassion, companionship and support. No words are needed.

2. Food is always helpful. Waiting for someone to call when they realize a need for nourishment may not come. Difficult circumstances make simple tasks like picking up a phone and dialing a number a challenge. Call ahead to make sure someone is home to receive your gift of compassion and care.

3. Send a card. Write a message of encouragement or a memory you may have if a person has died. Sometimes I cut a heart from fabric to enclose showing a tangible symbol of love to convey continued connection for a person who feels the ground underneath shifting.

4. Let the person discuss whatever he or she desires. Mike and I made a hospital visit to our long-time friend, Bill, who was diagnosed with inoperable cancer in early June. The conversation centered around the ingredients listed in a container of Boost, his liquid nourishment. Boost was important to Bill in these moments, so that is what we discussed. (Sadly, Bill died four months later.)

God "shows up" every day. "Showing up" to God can take many forms - prayer, worship, singing, acts of service, participation in small groups, taking a walk, art or other ways reflecting our individual ways we come to God.

Prayer: God, you "show up" wherever we are, everywhere and in everyone. Open our hearts to see you. When we "show up" and absorb you, we can "show up" to others in your name. Amen.

Pause in the Movie "Brooklyn: and during Lent

Pause - a temporary stop or rest, especially in speech or action; a cessation of activity because of doubt or uncertainty; a momentary hesitation.

The Saturday before Christmas I tunneled through frenzied shoppers at the mall to reach a place of quiet in a second floor movie theater. My youngest daughter, Anna, saw the movie "Brooklyn" in mid-November and thought I would enjoy it. Since I was spending a few days with Anna at the end of the week, I wanted to make sure I saw the movie before our reunion.

My special friend, Emily, who is almost twenty, joined me. After the movie, I appreciated her observations that gave me a youthful perspective on the plot.

"Brooklyn" is a story about a young, Irish woman, Eilis, who ventures to New York City to start a new life. She lives in a boarding house, finds a job in a department store, and quickly meets a charming young man. Although her early months go smoothly, she misses her mother and sister.

Throughout the movie, I was captured by pauses that occurred. "Brooklyn" isn't a fast-paced movie; the plot evolves slowly and deliberately.

The pauses occurred in many spots more than I can remember in most movies. When her boyfriend tells Eilis he loves her, she pauses, looks at him, puts her face down and walks away. The audience was held in suspense wondering what she would say to an expression of love early in their relationship. Her pause and non-verbal reply seemed appropriate.

Whenever Eilis receives letters from home, she holds them in her hand before opening. Her pause reflects her anticipation and excitement for the greetings from her mother and sister.

One day Eilis sees the priest of the church she attends in the doorway of the department store where she works. She pauses in the middle of a sale and watches him move slowly toward the counter. She reacts but needed to complete the sale. He moves slowly to the counter as her customer leaves. The priest pauses, trying to find words to deliver the news of her sister's unexpected death.

Pauses in the movie, "Brooklyn," illustrate the value of taking time to reflect before responding or experiencing the gift of a letter communicating the unknown, but treasured contents, and wondering about the visit of a priest conveying sad news.

How Did Jesus Pause?

In John, chapter 8 verses 1-11, Jesus was confronted by the teachers of the Law and the Pharisees when they brought a woman to him who had committed adultery.

"Teacher," they said to Jesus, "this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery. In our Law Moses commanded that such a woman must be stoned to death. Now, what can you say?" They said this to trap Jesus, so that they could accuse him.

Now this question carried great meaning and importance, as Jesus was being "put to the test" so to speak by the well-respected people in authority. Jesus, however, took a moment to pause before answering. He bent over and wrote in the ground - or as some described the dust that covered the land. His pause caused the Pharisees to pause too, which might have increased their distress over not receiving an immediate answer.

Jesus finally replies, "Whichever one of you has committed no sin may throw the first stone at her."

After Jesus answered the questions, he paused again, bent over a second time to write on the ground.

The Pharisees and teachers did not receive the answer they expected, so they went away.

Jesus demonstrated that pausing to reflect before answering questions is an important part of communication.

Can We Pause Today?

Pauses in our age seem few and far between. We push the pause button when we watch a movie to get more food or use the bathroom, then resume our feature. Often our answers to questions are "rapid-fire" so we can move on to other topics. The art of pausing to reflect on an answer before speaking can give us time to collect our thoughts, to organize our words so we can say what we want to convey.

Pauses in conversation are often seen as "awkward silences," but this awkwardness can give those engaging in conversation valuable time to reflect on what has been said, plan words and put together sentences that are most helpful.

A Way to Pause During Lent

I recently found a book that I plan to use during Lent called Pauses for Lent - 40 Words for 40 Days. The author, Trevor Hudson, invites the reader "to make a commitment to pause during each day of Lent, to read each brief meditation, and reflect on the word for the day. This art of pausing carves out space in your hectic life to listen to God."

I am looking forward to reading this small book and developing the habit of pausing more frequently with each word offered.

Emily and I left the movie theater chatting animatedly about our impressions. We were touched by the poignant scenes when Eilis says good-bye to her mother and sister before leaving Ireland. Emily focused on Eilis' character development throughout the movie, while I mentioned the pauses. The pauses framed tender moments in the movie making each one stand out in importance.

Later that evening I remembered how Jesus paused twice before responding to the Pharisees. I look forward to practicing pausing during Lent. I pray this act will open my heart to a deeper way to receive God's Word.

Prayer: Pausing seems counter-cultural, God, in our busy world where we are so connected with others, but must be intentional to stay connected with you. Guide our moments to include pauses where we can stop and reflect, for in these pauses we can seek you for words or insight or as a way to dwell deeper in you. Amen.

A Simple Prayer of Gratitude in Response to God's Presence

The entrance to the limestone Benedictine Monastery in Beech Grove, Indiana, where I studied to become a spiritual director, has two words engraved in the stone above the door: "Seek God." I've kept these two words close in mind through the years when I've needed guidance as well as when I had reason to celebrate.

Not too long ago, I was faced with several days of uncertainty and unfamiliarity. I awakened each morning with fatigue wondering how I would make it through the day. I sought God in the early hours, asking for an opening so I could enter God's presence in a way that would give me grounding and strength.

Leaning against the dresser in my room, yearning with desired to enter fully the adventures of the day ahead, God responded, filing my heart with energy to sustain and keep me alert to encounters and interactions that would happen as the day evolved.

My response to God in those moments, still leaning against the dresser, was a prayer reflecting my gratitude for the assurance of God's participation in my life - even when my awareness wanders.

                                                Thank you, God, for hearing my prayer.
                                               
                                                Thank you, God, for knowing my heart.

                                                Thank you, God, for your love.

                                               Amen.

Prayer: Generous God, these are simple words you gave me, a letter of gratitude, defining how you are with us always. In our seeking, whatever our circumstances, joyful or challenging, we have reminders of your presence and you know our hearts even before we come to you. In your goodness, you sustain and celebrate our path each day. Amen.

Ordinary Time

Ordinary - commonplace, unexceptional, usual, normal

The church year has several seasons, the two most familiar being Advent, the four Sundays preceding Christmas, and Lent the forty days before Easter.

Ordinary Time this year is from January 10 to February 7, and continues from May 15 to November 27.

There are practices noted to observe Advent and Lent, but there are no guidelines to honor Ordinary Time other than to recognize God at work in everyday life.

Jesus ministry occurred in the ordinary time of going from towns and villages, teaching and meeting people as they traveled and completed their normal tasks of daily living - shopping for food in the marketplace, tending sheep, planting crops and baking bread.

Encounters with Jesus long ago gave extraordinary meaning to ordinary days. The woman who found herself close enough in a crowed to touch the hem of Jesus' cloak experienced relief from twelve years of bleeding. The people who came to hear Jesus teach by the lake witnessed  five loaves of barley bread and two fish changed to feed five thousand people. When the disciples were in the middle of the lake rowing against the wind, Jesus appeared walking on water offering comfort.

Walking in a crowd, sitting by a lake, rowing a boat -all ordinary occurrences made extraordinary by seeing Jesus.

How can our ordinary, commonplace days become extraordinary as we encounter Jesus "in between" major holidays? I am suggesting three ways - reflection, service, prayer.

Reflection: Take few minutes at the end of your day. Imagine you and God are sitting side by side watching a video of everything that happened and every encounter you experienced. Consider these questions:

          When did I feel closest to God?
          Where did God bless me?
          How was I challenged?
         What word can I take from my day that speaks of God's presence?

Service: Simple acts of kindness wherever you go can bless others and honor Jesus' life of service and care of others. Here are a few suggestions:

          -- Look behind you when exiting a building. If someone is coming, hold the door open as they pass through.

          --Ask the cashier when you pay for purchases how he/she is doing or how the day is going.

          --Buy a card or write a note of encouragement to someone who is sick, lives alone, is lonely or struggling in some way.

Prayer: Praying for others brings you to God. New ways to pray may include the following"
     
          --Take your church directory and pray for those families under a different letter of the alphabet each day.

          --If you are stopped at a light, pray for the person beside, behind and in front of you.

          --When you walk or drive through your neighborhood, pray for those who surround you. Even if you do not know the person, you can make a general prayer to God for "those who live in this house."

          --Before you throw out your Christmas cards, pray for each individual or family. Taking this practice one step further: mail the sender a note that they were remembered in prayer.

These simple tasks of everyday living - reflection, acts of service, and prayer - can bring us to God, making each day holy and extraordinary.

What else can you think of to make Ordinary Time extraordinary? Let me know by sending an email to jreed46038 [@] hotmail [dot] com. I look forward to hearing from you.

Prayer: God, in whose presence we live and move, guide us to make "ordinary days" with you extraordinary by increasing our awareness of your presence through reflection, acts of service and prayer. Amen.

Hope in the Locker Room at the YMCA

Many religious traditions suggest meditation, sitting for moments in silence, using steady breathing as a way to center and focus on a divine presence, named differently based on the faith. The benefits of meditation include:

         - stress relief
         - reduced anxiety
         - increased ability to appreciate life more fully
         - improved brain function
         - increased attention
         - increased immunity to fight disease

For years I've tried to sit on the floor and meditate without success. Guided meditation, timed meditation, focused attention on the breath, mindful meditation - I've tried them all and nothing works. Although I have the desire to meditate, the basic problem is I have difficulty sitting still for even short periods.

Brain Waves and Swimming


One day last summer I got out of the outdoor pool of the Jordan YMCA on the far north side of Indianapolis. An elderly gentleman next to me who finished at the same time turned to me and said, "You know brain waves change when you swim."

This new thought, awakened my curiosity as he quickly wrapped himself in a towel and headed for the locker room on that chilly 65 degree day in mid-June.

Driving home, I realized how swimming laps over the past forty-one years has been a time of prayer, silence and reflection as I move through the water. I imagine a scripture in John 5 where an angel stirred the water at the pool of Bethesda. The first person to enter the pool after the water was stirred was healed from whatever disease he or she had.

God comes to me consistently when I swim and immediately afterwards. I consider swimming meditation. Maybe I am not sitting still, nor am I physically still as I complete laps, but God is revealed in some new way every time I get in the water.

When I returned home I went to the computer and Googled, "brain waves when swimming." According to my source, our brains produce six different types of waves. Beta waves occur when an individual is awake, alert, and concentrating. Alpha waves happen when you are falling asleep, just waking up or during moments of relaxation. Alpha waves are always produced during a meditative state or when swimming.

Unconventional Meditation Works

I realized I can officially count my time in the water as meditation! I don't need to worry about trying to sit still for ten minutes or more again. I can swim for forty or more minutes and get the same benefit, even more!

On Saturday, November 7, I completed 3/4 of a mile at the Fishers YMCA where I live, north of Indianapolis. I got out of the pool and went to shower. Finishing, I reached for my towel and felt my heart fill with hope. I stopped for a moment, experiencing such fullness it seemed like hope was stretching the inside of my chest.

Like Mary, who replied to the angel announcing her pregnancy, I wondered, "How can this be? I was washing my hair, rinsing the chlorine off my body, and my heart fills with hope!"

I wasn't in a church or talking to a pastor or sitting on a cushion for thirty minutes, but doing something completely ordinary, and God filled my heart!

After drying my hair, and heading to my car, I carried my full-heart home. Although I went to check my email, I decided to stop, sit in the fullness of hope, and absorb every moment until it went away. So I did. I sat on the floor of my office and rested in hope that filled my heart, not for a particular desire or circumstance or event - just pure hope, stretching my heart.


No longer discouraged, I see now the way God comes to me in every day life and in unexpected places. I no longer needed to "beat myself" for not being able to sit still and focus on God.

Prayer: God, you know each of your children so well as you created us in many ways. You bring holiness to me in the simplest places where I go every day. Come to all of us like you did to Mary and Joseph and the shepherds, in ordinary places, with extraordinary holiness. Amen.

Eight Questions to Consider As You Take Down The Ornaments

Before you put away the ornaments from the Christmas tree, file the recipes for food you only prepare for the holidays, and organize presents, get a sheet of paper and a pen to record a few thoughts.

Reflect on experiences during the month of December and write your answers. Consider these questions -

1. Where did I see God?
2. How did I experience God?
3. When did I offer God's love?

Keep a copy of your reflections in a place where you can reference throughout 2016, perhaps in the spring after Easter, during the summer or next October as preparations for next Christmas may begin. The answers that come from these questions can reveal the fullness of God's presence as well as give form to changes you might want to implement in future holiday planning.

Additional questions for the new year are an examination of your life and priorities. Responding to each can offer cleansing and direction in the new year.

1. For what am I longing?
2. What themes keep recurring in my life?
3. Where am I struggling?
4. What is most life-giving to me?
5. What is least life-giving?

Jesus spent time going away for prayer. Although we do not know the content of his reflections, he gave us a model of the importance of being still with God.

Prayer: God, at the beginning of a new year help us collect our experiences with you and others from 2015. Guide us as we use these eight questions to realize your presence with us, give us new energy and focus within and guide us in service to you. Amen.