It Takes A Village for Children and Adults

The saying, "it takes a village," became popular a few years ago, attributed to African cultures reflecting their belief that a child has most potential to become a healthy adult when an entire community takes part in raising.

Jane Cowen-Fletcher wrote a children's book called It Takes a Village in 1994, about a young girl caring for her younger brother. The children realize the whole village is watching them.

Former First Lady, Hillary Rodham Clinton in 1996, presented her vision for the children of America in a book It Takes A Village and Other Lessons Children Teach Us. She focused on the influences that connect children outside the family as well as advocating for a society that contributes positively to a child's upbringing.

The United Methodist Church recognizes the value of a Christian community in the service of infant baptism. The pastor asks the parent or parents of the child a few questions, then addresses the congregation with these words:

           "Will you nurture one another in the Christian faith and include this person/these persons now before you in your care?"

The congregation replies, "With God's help we will proclaim the good news and live according to the example of Christ. We will surround (baby's name) with a community of love and forgiveness, that he/she may grow in his/her trust of God, and be found faithful in service to others. We will pray for him/her that he/she may be true disciples who walk in the way that leads to life."

The congregation at the time of a child's baptism takes responsibility for surrounding the child, nurturing the child in faith. The parents are reassured they are not alone raising their child - the village is with them.

Although the term "it takes a village" usually refers to raising a child, I've noted several examples where adults in difficult circumstances are experiencing the love and care of a village.

For example, I am friends with a family whose husband had a reoccurrence of melanoma in the spring, and was initially only given a few months to live. Immediately meals were arranged for several weeks. Offers of childcare appeared. One couple took care of the family's pets, enabling a long-awaited vacation to become a reality. People volunteered to drive the husband to work. The village  has responded to help this family navigate these rough waters in a variety of loving and caring ways.

Another friend, whose daughter (also my friend) is undergoing treatment for a brain tumor, described a bag of cards and notes she has received from family, and friends.  My friend "carries her village" in a sack of paper, reading and re-reading the notes when she needs encouragement, always feeling surrounded by compassionate hearts who love her dearly.

We are always part of the village - sometimes we serve, sometimes we receive, and sometimes we rest - like the passage in the book of Ecclesiastes describing the cycle of life, "for everything there is a season."

Prayer: God, just be believing in you we are part of your village, community and kingdom. The word isn't important, but love and caring for each other is core to your commission we receive. Keep our eyes and hearts open so that whatever age or circumstance we encounter we become you in our response. Amen.

Jesus the Master of Customer Service

Spending time at the Bureau of Motor Vehicles was not my idea how to begin a recent Tuesday. The office is closed on Monday the day I realized my driver's license was missing. I could feel my anger build as the day progressed, realizing I needed to add one more thing to the next day, already stacked with activity.

Since my attitude was not helping my approach to the day, I asked God  Monday evening to make my wait at the BMV a time of holiness - either give me an opportunity to bless someone or open my heart to what another might teach me.

Tuesday I arrived early to the local branch. Walking to the lobby inside the front door where people wait for the office to open, I quickly was joined by a man and a woman who seemed to know each other. We chatted about the Colt's game the previous night, wondering where the long-promised "near Super Bowl performance," was in the third loss of the season.

As our wait continued, these people described their places of employment - the man worked in a warehouse and the woman was a Kroger manager.

I said to the woman, "What is the most challenging part of your job?"

"People try to get things free and use outdated coupons," she answered.

We chuckled, still waiting in the lobby for the office to open.

The woman added, "I am always thinking of customer service in my job. I wish these people would at least let us in to take a number and wait in a chair rather than just stand. I'm getting tired. Today is my first day off in two weeks."

When I worked for St. Vincent Hospital, patient care was our primary focus. However, our department scores on patient satisfaction were given at quarterly meetings. These markings, comparable to customer satisfaction, were monitored closely. We often attended programs and workshops on effective communication with and care of patients as well as their families and friends.

When I read the gospels, Jesus' pattern of interaction always demonstrates attention, love and compassion - especially to those people on the fringe of society.

In Jesus' day, those on the fringe had diseases like epilepsy, leprosy or were considered demon possessed. Women were regarded as secondary citizens, certainly not worthy of association with someone like Jesus or other me in positions of town leadership and authority.

Jesus regarded everyone with love - that's wonderful customer service.

Reflecting about people on the fringe today, the homeless come to mind as well as those who are unemployed, living in poverty, struggling with addictions or mental illness.

Everyone in some way may feel on the fringe at various times in life as struggles with illness, relationships, grief, job loss and other challenges of living can make us feel alone or isolated. We all need excellent "customer service," especially during those times - whether from people or directly from God.

The woman waiting with me in the BMV lobby had compassion for those who were standing behind her, waiting to enter the main office. Although she couldn't change the circumstances, her thoughtful remark carried desire and concern for others. That reminded me of Jesus, the Master of customer service who regards everyone with love. I know I felt loved that day by simply chatting, and the day offered these moments of holiness, just as I had prayed.

Prayer: God, providing customer service to those we encounter means following Jesus' model of love and compassion. Strengthen us to go out of our way to reach those whom we see "on the fringe" with the embrace of Christ. Open our eyes to family and friends who may be going through circumstances that make them feel "on the fringe" even temporarily. Deepen our capacity to love greatly all we encounter for in each other we see you. Amen.

Mowing the Grass - Present to God

When my daughters, Sarah and Anna, were young, I had to find creative ways to find time to pray and be still with God.

Although they played on the deck while I swam, the forty minutes spent in the water gave me space for reflection. The mental clarity when I emerged from the water refreshed my body and spirit.

When we lived in Mt. Vernon, Indiana, a small town in southwestern Indiana, there was no year around swimming pool. The community pool was open from Memorial Day to Labor Day which gave me an opportunity to connect with God in the water once again.

Most of the year, however, I ran three to four miles every day. The length of the town from east to west was 1.3 miles. Taking off from my house on the west side of town, and running east, returning for a couple of laps on the small street next to our parsonage made for a nice three mile workout.

Wanting to combine exercise and time with God, my running route became a path of prayer.

Mowing the grass also brought time for silent reflection. We moved to Indianapolis in November, 1983, and the next summer I started mowing our large yard. We lived alongside a busy road on the south side of Indy that did not offer a lot of external quiet, but mowing row across the large yard helped me reach the quiet, inner space where God entered. I finished the lawn each week, refreshed, renewed and restored.

Caring for the yard during the summer of 1984, brought special meaning. Toward the middle of July, I realized I wasn't alone going up and down the path outlined by the width of the lawn mower.

Back in those days there were no home pregnancy tests, so I had to wait several weeks, then get a test at Planned Parenthood to confirm, indeed, I was having a baby. Carrying around a new life that I kept secret for awhile gave me a head start on communicating with another much-desired infant.

We "chatted" each week in the front and back yard. I wondered what this new life would look like. What would his or her talents and interests be? Wondering how I could love another child as much as my first kept me perplexed as the months went on. When I finally held  Anna, in March, 1985, my heart expanded quickly realizing there was enough love to go around.

Although I no longer need someone to care for my children while I escape to pray, the ways I nurtured my faith years ago are still with me today - swimming, and mowing the grass.

Waiting or postponing intimacy with God until "he/she starts pre-school or kindergarten", or "when I retire or work part-time" are not an option. Try these simple ways to incorporate God into everyday  life.

1. Put a candle or a cross or other small symbol that remind you of God in the kitchen, a busy place for most people. When you see each one, acknowledge that you are always in God's presence. Take a deep breath, inhaling God's love, strength, patience or what you need in that moment.

2. Combine what you are doing with an awareness that God is with you. A simple mantra such as the following may help: "God as I cook, I remember ____________;" "God when I fold _____'s shirts keep him safe;" "God as I watch my child/children play let them run and stretch and enjoy all their bodies can do;" 'Jesus come when I eat, cook, and work in the yard, bringing me to you always."

3. Practice gratitude. At the end of the day, recall at least one part of the day for which you can give thanks.

4. Say the Lord's Prayer every morning. This short, comprehensive prayer honors God, reminds you to bring God's kingdom wherever you go; offers thanks for food and forgiveness for ourselves and others; guides us to keep our minds pure; celebrates God's power and glory all around.

5. Write and tape one scripture a week or month to your bathroom mirror. Read the message while you brush your teeth, asking God to bring a new insight or perspective on these words.

These steps can increase our awareness that God is with us as well as deepen the inner space where God can enter and fill.

Prayer: God, open our eyes and hearts to creative ways we can pray with you when we have difficulty finding time to sit and be still. Amen.

Wisdom in Unexpected Places

Wisdom - knowledge, wise sayings or teachings.

When I was in high school and college and needed information for a paper or project, one of my parents dropped me off at the closest library where I spent a few hours looking through encyclopedias. The library continued to be a resource when I needed to read about a particular topic throughout much of my adult life. Recently, however, I discovered a new place of wisdom -  the wrapper of Hall's cough drops!!

Last week I had a sore, dry throat, so I purchased a package of Hall's sugar-free cherry cough drops. Unwrapping the first one, I noticed the following phrase printed on the paper: "A pep talk in every drop." Looking further I saw these words in the center of the diamond logo: "Dust off and get up," "It's yours for the taking," "March forward!" "Conquer today!"

Wisdom in a cough drop wrapper?? Through the next five days, while my cough healed, I accumulated quite a pile of wrappers, containing endless wisdom and good wishes including the following:

"Put your game face on ...Let's hear your battle cry ...Seize the day ....Get through it ....You can do it and you know it ...Power through ...Don't waste a precious minute ... Nothing you can't handle ....Keep your chin up."

I realized there were other "unlikely" places for gleaning wisdom such as fortune cookies, on pieces of Dove chocolate and the front page of the Indianapolis Star (which always prints the same Bible verse, 2 Corinthians 3:17 - Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.). The Fishers YMCA has a basket of narrow, multi-colored strips of paper containing scripture. Patrons are welcome to take one or more at each visit.

Perhaps the people at Hall's want to offer an encouraging word to those who aren't feeling well, to brighten their day and distract their physical duress. Well, it worked. I gained a bit of wisdom and energy, each time I unwrapped one of their cough drops.

Where do you find wisdom n unexpected places?

An Opening Is A Beginning

Last summer I taught a class at the Chautauqua Institute in western New York called,  "Praying with Sand, Paper, Paint and Pen."

One of my students came in the first day and shared how she was going through a divorce. The second day she provided more detail acknowledging how her husband's infidelity was causing upheaval in their family.

Another student commented, "Why don't you pray for the other woman?"

The woman replied, "That's an interesting thought."

The third day of class we shared our pictures of prayer completed in various colors and designs.

"I decided to pray for the woman who now lives with my ex-husband. I used yellow and green and these shapes," she said showing us her picture.

Noting spaces of white in the middle of the paper and on the sides, I commented, "Even if this is all you do,  there is an opening."

My student smiled.

Opening our heart can be the first step to creating space for God to enter. Opening breaks the tension, tightness and hold that can grip our very core when difficult circumstances come our way.

Thirteen years ago, Sarah gave me a paperweight for Mother's Day. A red heart is in the middle surrounded by clear glass. The hollow center of the heart dips into the base. You can feel the depth of the opening with your finger.

Dipping your finger into the heart and "roaming" through illustrates how much room an open heart offers for God. Rough patches happen in many forms and it's easy to close our hearts when pain overwhelms. We can become hardened with envy, jealousy, anger and frustration.

However, even small openings or spaces, as my student left between shapes, are room enough for God's light to enter and slowly work along the raw and rough insides of our hearts. God's love can be a soothing balm that over time will lessen pain or change to a new form that is manageable and doesn't carry quite the hurt that once was there.

How can you create openings in your heart and space for God to come in and work?

Prayer: God, no one is immune to sorrow or loss for circumstances happen in life that hurt and harden our hearts. We often call to you for understanding and in our cries are the beginning of openings where you can come in and work through the hard tunnels and passages that hardship seems to burrow. Send your light to these places so that peace can come. Amen.

Not Reading

I attended an author fair at the Carmel Public Library on a recent summer Saturday afternoon. More than twenty authors gathered to sell their publications and interact with visitors.

Talking with other writers inspires me. I love learning why he or she is interested in a particular topic to write a book. Intrigued, I went from table to table, skimming books and chatting with the authors. Three different writers asked me the same question that was an unexpected query, "What type of books do you like to read?"

I was stumped!! First, I didn't expect an author to ask me a question and second, I had to reveal my lack of reading during the past several years.

Embarrassed, I replied to each, "I haven't been reading. I write." My brief response ended the conversation and I walked to the next table.

Not reading books during the past few years has left a gap in my life. I miss getting lost in a book, thinking about the plot while I am at work or driving, eager to return to read what was going to happen with my favorite character or how the plot would evolve.

I learned a long time ago that reading expands vocabulary, inspires imagination and is especially helpful for those who like to write.

One of my favorite blog writers is Charity Singleton Craig. When I see Charity's writing appear in my email, I click immediately. Her post on August 27, "Read and Respond: Writing Comes from Reading," chronicles her path of reading beginning when she was four. Charity references another writer, L. L. Barkat, who comments in her blog, "Green Inventions Central" on August 25, 2011, about her fourteen year old daughter's passion for writing poetry is due to her prolific reading. L. L. Barkat says, "All that reading, I'm convinced has shaped her writing."

Maybe all of the reading I used to do has influenced my writing, the writing I do today. Much of my reading as an adult involved authors and their processes of writing including Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Madeleine L'Engle, and Kathleen Norris, all of whom have a reflective, self-exploring style. 

The day after the author fair I stopped by the library in the church I attend, hoping once again to find a book to read. After all, since "reading comes from writing," I was desperate. I chose a book by Robert Hamma called Landscapes of the Soul: A Spirituality of Place.

The author shares a story in the introduction about a third century monk, St. Antony, who is asked by a philosopher how he can survive without books. St. Antony's reply gives me comfort: "My book, sir philosopher, is the nature of created things, and it is always at hand when I wish to read the words of God."

Although I haven't advanced beyond the introduction, I did receive encouragement for my lack of reading by learning than an awareness of God as I look deeply at people, things, events and experiences in my world, will let me find God there ...... and write what I discover.

Guest Writer: Anna Reed - "Not quite a bowl, but it worked just fine."

On June 14, I shared a picture of a bowl purchased at Betsy and Iya, the store where Anna, my youngest daughter is in charge of media and marketing. The blog entry invited readers to select, bless and fill a bowl in whatever way they chose during the months of July and August.

Anna completed the project.  Here is a picture of her bowl and comments about the experience.

"When I read my mom's post from June 14th, I was filled with the customary inspiration that comes after reading her words. I connected even deeper to this particular post since the bowl she described came from the shop where I work. I am beyond delighted that something she bought during a visit to Portland inspired such a mindful project. When I read the call-to-action for her readers to also conduct a "bowl project," I knew it was something I wanted to do.

I have the classic conundrum of those with both a small living space and borderline hoarder tendencies: I don't have a lot of room in my one bedroom apartment, but I do have a lot of things I want to keep. Most of these things are reminders of love. My parents are a constant reminder of love, and their acts are the things that remind me of God's love as well. My bowl - not a bowl at all, but rather a small vessel handmade by one of my favorite ceramists in Portland - became a place for holding these special things.

Often times, I am messy in my way of keeping track of these items that cross many miles to get to me and remind me that I am loved. Having the bowl project gave me a devoted place to keep these things, a place that is beautiful in decoration and easy to access, but also didn't take up too much space in my apartment.

Things that found their way in there were mindfully placed mementos of love: handwritten notes from my mom, an envelope addressed by my dad (just seeing familiar handwriting is a reminder of love to me), a movie ticket a friend bought me out of love - because we both needed to escape the heat and what better treat than a cool, dark theater?

Through the project, I learned that simply being open and ready to receive is enough to find oneself "overflowing with expressions of love," as my mom wrote. It doesn't have to take up a lot of space in your mind or on your countertop, nor is it complicated to catalogue. I never second guessed what I put in the bowl, I just knew. Because I was open.

Ultimately, my bowl experience was a fulfillment of my mom's prayer for her readers at the end of her post. That prayer reads: God, fill us to overflowing with tangible expressions of your goodness, love and challenge. Guide our reflections with what you give so we can learn more about ourselves and our lives with you. Amen.

Who doesn't want to feel that? I feel blessed that I did through this project, and continue to because of it."

Anna Reed, August 27, 2015.